The right to a meaningful vote is something that most people around the world cannot take for granted. Even in the US, where the concept of democracy is considered a given, this election, people have been expressing frustration that the whole system is rigged to benefit a small minority - the super rich. Unorthodox candidates have received unexpected mass support from a population that struggles to feel well represented at the government level. Every voter can make a difference. But, for almost all of us, it seems that the difference we make is as a tiny percentage of the whole effect.
On the other hand, at home you have a far larger and much more important impact. Your relationship with your spouse affects your entire household. Indeed, very few factors have as large an impact on the quality of your day.
Every day you focus on your marriage can make that a 'Super Day.' You don't have to go from where you are now to having the relationship of your dreams overnight. But by applying yourself daily to fulfilling each other, you are building and improving your marriage.
If you lack the skills to make significant changes in your marriage, find someone who can help you. A trusted friend, a member of the clergy or a relationship coach, like myself. There are a lot of good resources out there. There is also a lot of information that you can put to use: check out the posts on this blog, search the internet, borrow a book from your local library or download one to your phone to read in quiet moments. But it all starts with a dream of a better relationship and THAT starts with you and your willingness to work daily to build a great marriage. Add in respect and commitment and you now have the ingredients that you need. (Too bad these aren't the ingredients that politicians use to get ahead.)
In your marriage, these elements are essential. Don't look at your relationship as a contested political landscape where you wait for someone else to improve things. You can become the key advocate who acts with determination to raise your relationship to greater heights.
Here are 6 actionable steps to go from so-so to super:
- Commit to actively improving your relationship; do more than dream.
- Research the behaviors and actions your spouse would like more of and start providing them where and when you can.
- Examine what you're doing that has negative repercussions with your spouse. What behaviors does he or she repeatedly indicate or say disappoint or displease? Start minimizing them.
- Demonstrate love and respect in how you interact with each other.
- Be specific about the changes and improvements you want to make. Determine how the two of you will measure success.
- REMEMBER, both of you are at your best when you are both happy with each other.
May every day be SUPER for you and your spouse.