The Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, starts this Sunday night. We focus on accepting God as Creator and King of the universe. This is followed a week later by Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement for one's sins.
Wait a minute! Shouldn't Yom Kippur come first? You clean your slate of sins to God by repenting. Then when you are in a more pure state, you are ready to accept Him as King. But that is not the case. Why? Because, it is only when you realize your relationship that you are motivated to change.
So, too, in your marriage. Day follows day and it is human nature to take each other for granted. The wife may dress up when she goes out so that she looks her best for the outside world. What happened to putting in that effort for her husband? The husband who used to spend time listening to his wife, would now rather watch the game. Isn't he interested in what his wife has to say? Of course. But, people lose focus.
Rosh Hashanah is the Day of Judgement, when God examines our behavior. He will determine what we will encounter during the year coming up based on that judgement. Maybe it would be wise to consider how well you are treating your spouse. Have you given your partner the respect and kindness that they deserve? Does your marriage bring honor to your commitment to God?
Try to put your ego aside and be honest with yourself. Have you made your spouse cry? Did you belittle them or treat them with casualness? Does your presence in your spouse's life make them more happy or sad. Do you even know? When seriously examining your ways, are you surprised and embarrassed?
What to do? First you need to be really honest with yourself. If possible, ask your spouse where you are not making them happy. Take their feedback very seriously. Your heavenly judgement will be affected by your actions. Your spouse also depends on you. Furthermore, it turns out that if you can focus on your spouse's needs, you will also become a better person in general.
BTW, it is interesting to note that in Jewish tradition the month that starts with Rosh Hashanah has the astrological symbol of the scales of justice. Let us be just in our relationship with others, our spouses in particular, and God will be just with us.