Here are various reasons to explain these findings. Some of these reasons may coexist.
Medical Issues for Women
According to the Mayo Clinic, causes for female pain during intercourse depend upon when the pain is experienced. You should, of course, seek professional guidance for any medical issues.
Entry Pain may be due to:
- Insufficient lubrication associated with insufficient foreplay or a decrease in estrogen levels after childbirth, from breast-feeding and after menopause
- Side-effects from certain medications
- Inflammation, infection or a skin disorder
- Congenital abnormalities
Deep Pain usually occurs with deep penetration and may be due to:
- Illnesses and conditions such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine prolapse, uterine fibroids, cystitis, irritable bowel syndrome, hemorrhoids and ovarian cysts
- Surgeries or medical treatments. Scarring from pelvic surgery, including hysterectomy, can sometimes cause painful intercourse. Medical treatments for cancer, such as radiation and chemotherapy, can cause changes that make sex painful.
Medical Issues for Men
It is much more difficult to try and find research explaining why men experience pain during vaginal intercourse. Here are some possible medical causes according to health.com:
- Psychological problems such as anxiety, depression and fear of intimacy can contribute to a low level of arousal and a resulting discomfort or pain
If you or your partner are suffering from any of the above issues, you need to seek appropriate professional care.
Fear of Communication
What I would like to address in more detail is the role that fear of communication plays in the cause of painful sexual intercourse.
Let's take a case where a woman experiences pain during intercourse because she has not produced enough lubrication. As mentioned above, this may be a result of her partner not spending enough time arousing her or as a result of hormonal changes associated with her menstrual cycle, such as menopause. Your beloved should feel totally free to express her needs. "Please dear, I'm not ready yet." Or, "we're going to need some lubricant." Two happy people, end of story.
There is another related reason for discomfort. A woman needs time for her vagina to expand to the size of a man's erect penis. When you entering your wife you need to communicate with each other so that the experience is mutually enjoyable. Patience, love and lots of play should resolve all of these issues.
What you as a man need to do is to share your partner's experience. She should tell you when you are doing something that she enjoys as well as letting you know what needs to be modified. As a couple, you really need to sit down and make sure that your marriage is open and secure enough for either of you to share your thoughts, feelings, worries and discomforts. And since men can also experience pain, of course women need to be considerate of their partner.
The study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine mentioned at the beginning of this post also reported that during anal intercourse 72% of women and 15% of men reported experiencing pain.
With so many people reporting pain, one has to wonder if people are engaging in activities that they don't enjoy just to please their partner. If this is so, then there really is a disconnect between partners. Making love should bring together as one. So, ask yourself, is your goal to unite or to self-pleasure at your partner's expense?
The takeaway from this post is that there are many causes for pain experienced during intercourse. Unless spouses are open with each other, there may also be a lot of emotional pain associated with what should be a gift from one beloved to another.
Love one another. Cherish your mate. Listen to their needs. Don't make your wants more important. With respect and love you should make your lovemaking beautiful and enjoyable for both of you.
Pelvic inflammatory disease -
Uterine prolapse -
Uterine fibroids -
Irritable bowel syndrome -
Ovarian cysts -
Peyronie's disease -
Recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted
An often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus
Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is a clinical syndrome that results from the ascension of microorganisms from the cervix and vagina to the upper genital tract; PID can lead to infertility and permanent damage of a woman’s reproductive organs
When pelvic floor muscles and ligaments stretch and weaken they provide inadequate support for the uterus which then slips down into or protrudes out of the vagina
Muscular tumors that grow in the wall of the uterus
An infection of the bladder or lower urinary tract
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a group of symptoms—including pain or discomfort in your abdomen and changes in your bowel movement patterns—that occur together
Hemorrhoidal (swollen) veins located in the lowest area of the rectum and the anus
A cyst is a fluid-filled sac that can form in many places in the body; ovarian cysts form in or on the ovaries
Many researchers believe the plaque can start after trauma (hitting or bending) that causes bleeding inside the penis resulting in a curved or bent erect penis
Swelling and inflammation of the prostate gland
The inability to retract the skin (foreskin or prepuce) covering the head (glans) of the penis
A condition in which the foreskin, once retracted, cannot return to its original position; if this condition persists, it can lead to pain, swelling, and impaired blood flow to the penis