There are so many couples divorcing who were once very much in love. At times, it seems that this tragedy must be caused by some virus-like attack that strikes arbitrarily and without warning. Is it possible for a couple to inoculate themselves in advance to safeguard their marriage?
When it comes to relationships, very few questions can be resolved with a binary answer of either Yes or No. However, along the continuum that spans "There is Not a chance that anything can be done to prevent divorce" to "Absolutely, divorce can be prevented", the reality is that a healthy couple, with normal eccentricities, can greatly increase their odds of remaining an intact and happy unit.
Let's take a look what may be 2 of the most important factors that determines whether a married couple can withstand the storms that are sure to batter their tranquility.
1. How important is the marriage to the couple?
On their wedding day, everyone has dreams of a happy future. But, each day and night cycle that follows is full of factors that create distance as the bonds of the relationship are pushed and pulled apart. Our needs are great and unless we can exactly anticipate what our partner is feeling and thinking, resentment will grow in proportion to the mounting frustrations.
So, if a couple want to maintain their closeness, they need to be willing to recognize that a marriage requires work every single day. We need to communicate so that we understand what our spouse needs from us. Then we need to look inward and see why we haven't been providing them with these needs. This takes a lot of thought and effort.
What is more important to you? The joy you experience from watching a game, speaking with your friends, etc. or meeting the needs of your life partner? Remember that one doesn't always have to enjoy one at the expense of the other. We are now ready to look at the next issue.
2. How motivated are the couple to make necessary changes?
Are spouses a commodity? Maybe you think that they are a commodity in relatively short supply . As a result, you need to invest more in your partner so as to keep them happy. But, since your real focus is on maintaining your own comfort, be it financial security, regular sex or even a need to feel important, your commitment to your beloved is actually very limited.
Yes, we all act out of self-motivation. Nonetheless, when you appreciate the divine aspect of your partner, you can also be motivated to honor this creation of God who is sharing their life with you. With such an appreciation, you can be further motivated to want what is good for your wife or husband, just because it is.
In reality, it will take the work of both partners to achieve and maintain your union. But, aside from nonnegotiable issues like abuse, two partners can maintain or rebuild their marriage to be a blessing for all of your years together. For more on how to reset your marriage see 1,2,3 STEPS TO RESET YOUR MARRIAGE.
You CAN do it.