Monday for Misters only
Hubby, you take the lead here. Dinner together. If you can't manage that, then some dessert or at least sit down to share some tea or even milk and cookies. Your goal is to help your wife realize that you really appreciate her. Men, you want to provide your wife with a warm, cozy place where she is safe and loved.
As the two of you sit down together, share something with your wife that you truly admire about her. To touch your wife even more deeply, I want you to think of a trait that you really take pride in. Does your wife try to maintain a smile despite having so much on her plate? Is she kind to children or older people? Does she take the time to listen when friends confide in her?
Tuesday time for the Mrs.
Your husband is going to feel wonderful knowing that his efforts are meaningful to you. Feel free to express some more acknowledgment.
Imagine how he will feel if you now volunteer an area in your life that touches him that you would like to improve upon. You do not have to make any major commitment. Just a small token gesture is great. Share with him as you sit down together tonight. Pay attention to how he reacts. Do his eyes light up? Does he smile at you? Ask him how he feels about what you shared?
Keep in mind, though, that we will at times expect our partner to respond the way we would. He is, of course, a unique individual. Tell him that his reaction means a lot to you. This shared experience should be a bonding time.
Wednesday for the both of you
Role reversal - sort of.
Ladies, you will think of some trait that your husband has been growing in. Have his domestic skills improved? Does he put down the remote to listen to you? Is there something special that he puts energy into doing? Does he ever offer you something without being asked? This is your turn to share something that you admire about your hubby. Point out a quality that he has developed. This recognition will help him feel successful.
Gentlemen, you will respond verbally to what your wife has shared in two ways:
1: Thank you wife very graciously and express what her loving words mean to you.
2: Next, compliment her appearance. AND, be very specific: her engaging smile, her warm eyes, her inviting lips, her figure or anything you particularly enjoy. This is NOT a prelude to sex. You are being verbally affectionate. Watch her enjoy your attention.
Thursday for men only
Tonight, you are going to reinforce your appreciation for what your wife shared with you yesterday. Moreover, you will also share a small gesture of love with her. Keep warming up your mutual affection.
Friday for both of you
It's time to celebrate! The weekend has arrived and you can relax. Now is the time to reinforce spending time together further appreciating each other. Enjoy and be playful.
- Feel free to give more compliments.
- Share a nice surprise, no matter how simple.
- If you have children, share with them some of the traits that you admire in each other. This will build and strengthen your marriage while increasing your children's sense of love and security.
Sounds simple? It can be. But this exercise will be very difficult for some. Do you experience so much animosity and resentment that you are challenged to identify anything positive in your spouse? If this describes your situation then you need to follow a different track.
Read "Steps to Reset Your Marriage:"
Step One: Identify Your Problem Areas
Step Two: Devise & Implement Your Plan
Step Three: Removing Obstacles
Agree to a time when the two of you can focus and begin to read the first article. Do the work required and move on to the next one. Take as much time as you both need. There are often simple steps that couples can take to radically transform their relationship into the one that they would love to have if they're willing to put in the effort with humility, love and patience.
Developing a positive attitude is vital for a healthy marriage. If you fall victim to thinking any of the following, please work to eliminate them IMMEDIATELY:
- Why should I thank you? It's your responsibility.
- I am perfect as I am. You could use improvement.
- What, you have needs, too?
- Change is for vending machines.
The truth is that we all need to put work into improving ourselves, meeting our partner's needs and investing our time and effort regularly and consistently to make our marriage the best it can be.
Regardless of where you place your marriage along the spectrum of happiness, appreciation is a vital quality that needs to be verbally expressed. A positive remark from a spouse can motivate us to become even better partners.
Enjoy a loving and appreciative week.